I don't know how I'm going to get a book deal for this but it's very simple: start off every Monday with a double espresso and read Charlie Brooker's column. There will be no stopping you. Already my rage and fury at key parts of my B&Q gas burner BBQ being missing has been forgotten. I am writing a paper on european policy and it already reads like a cross between J.G.Ballard at his most psychedelic and Metal Gear Solid 4 on heat. European policy!
Now for another 100,000 words to get that book deal sorted.